Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Hell Week

Since i use this mainly for ranting and such.. welll.. here goes...
I AM TIRED OF EVERYTHING. And for once, im not so burnt out on classes. I could probably keep going with classes, its just a steady process. Ive learned not to study too hard, but to study often. Its not always effective, but it works for my ADD personality. I am mostly tired of mind games. I am tired of thinking "do they hate me?" "did i do something wrong?" Honestly, im tired of it. I dont recall harming someone, and i would sure be aware if i was pissed at someone... At this point i just dont care... I am direct, and i love my friends, i really do.. but im tired of mind games. AH.. so tired... so tired. I love going home, because its a good month of solitude, art, and reflexion. I do nothing at home. My entertainment is CSI and painting, sometimes piano. oouuu reading too... i love being home because i can seclude myself and recharge. I really am never bored at home... its odd... but really, i can always find something to do. I am so excited for home. I miss the northeast everything... the culture is so different, and i miss it.
Well this was probably the most random post ever, but i am greater than tired, and its time for bed. after 12:30am i generally dont have coherant thoughts. yeah.. goodnight all

YAY

Breezy got into Keystone College!!! Its in LaPlume, PA and its her top choice for schools. I am so happy and proud of her! :) I am so glad that she gets the opportunity to go to her number one school, and i hope she is very successful and grows in relationship with God.
I hope i get into Arcadia, but i want God's will for me... wow.. if bre and i were close that would be so much fun, i would be close to family again. that is what i want more than anything, just to be closer to family... being 30 hours away is killing me!

That was wierd...

So, i go to post, type in blogger.com on my browser, and it says that i need cookies inabled before i can log on. So then i go back and type in blogger.com again, and scroll down the history list, find something with a blogger.com/post-create, and BAM! here i am, didnt need to log in, and aparantly i dont have cookies inabled. I found a loophole in the system. HA.. HA.. HA!!!
This morning i tried something different. Since i have class in Solheim at 8 in the morning, i decided that i would work out afterwords. I dont have class after then, and i might as well work out while im there instead of going back to sleep. Exercise apparantly give you more energy than if you went back to sleep for an hour or so. I'll let you know how the progress goes, but so far its much easier to do this, then to find time to work out at 11pm when really, i should be winding down in my room to sleep at 12.
Really, i have a lot on my plate for the next three weeks. Next week i have around 3 finals, and the week after i have another 3 finals. It should be intense, but after that i will be home, snowboarding with my BEAUTIFUL new snowboard. I am so excited, you really have NO idea. aahhhhhhh... My first day home i start my new job, which means i will have a season pass!! I love VT, i really do... and most importantly i will be with my family which i miss so much. This winter will be hard. There has been a lot of problems at home, and this winter we will all be in close quarters. This will probably be the last time we will all be in the same area. I hope that one day we will all end up in the same place, i would prefer Pennsylvania, and so does brez, so maybe thats where we will all try to go. I am praying that she gets into a school there. I want for her to get a good education, and get away from the mistakes her parents made. But God has a plan for her, i just want her to be happy and maintain a good relationship with Him.

oh the joys of marriage

you know what sucks? since no one is around to comment.. ill just tell you, cause i could be waiting awhile. Parents that fight. When i was younger, i thought my parents were going to get a divorce. They fought constantly. I wanted them to break up, because i was tired of hearing them yell. Sometimes i think my mom just likes to yell cause it makes her feel better. That is why i am a timid person. When you are severely yelled at for your entire life, you tolerate being put down so much that you become small. Dont get me wrong, i love my mother, i just hate the ugly person she becomes when shes in a bad mood and she feels the need to yell. Moving on... My parents are beginning to fight again. They have stopped fighting for as long as i have been in college, but its beginning again. Its over little things too. My mom doesnt like it when my dad stops to talk at church. Hes a deacon, thats what he does, and is supposed to do. Well, my mom hates it when he stays after, so she will scream at him if he stays too late. I feel bad for him, he just doesnt know quite what to do, they are two very different people. She loves him for being a good provider and taking care of me, He loves her because she is a good caretaker of the house, but under this are some twisted views. My dad is gone a lot, he works almost too much, and my mom gets lonely. I think because of her loneliness she lashes out. She is unable to stay up really late with him, since she gets up early for work, and he cannot go to bed early, so he will lay in bed for hours after she is asleep until he can actually fall asleep. I am afraid because i see mimiking qualities of my dad in Danny and my mom in me. now im not a yelling person, but i can be stubborn, and i go to bed early, and im not extremely social. Danny loves to stay up late and talk to people. I cant draw conclusions from this, but it still scares me. I wonder how happy my parents really are sometimes. Then i wonder if i really want to get married someday. I dont want to fight all the time. My parents are currently not on speaking terms. Sometimes i feel like my life is falling into pieces all around me. I try so hard to keep things afloat that i just cant keep picking up the pieces. My family is broken now (not only my parents) i feel like im a world behind in school, and graduate school essays are creepin in and i jsut want to send out applications. Its so hard. God will take care of me, and my family. His will, will be done and i will be happy... although now it feels like my world is falling apart. Its hard for me to express my feelings on all of this. Writing is like therapy for me. sometimes i feel like im falling down a hole, and im drowning. this was a thoroughly depressinng post... please pray for my family.
for those who would like to post comments, you do not need a blogger account to do so. You can even comment anonomously if you wish. please comment... please

Love

Mother Teresa was quoted as saying, "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread." I was disturbed today to find out how many people on this campus are shallow and are just mean-spirited. Love is important. God tells us in Matthew 22:37-39 that 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all you soul, and with all your mind' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself'. Sure people on this campus arent all beautiful, they arent all thin supermodels, the guys arent abercrombie and fitch models either. It really bothers me when people go around saying how ugly are campus is, how wierd they are, how everyone is a nerd, and on and on... Sure, our campus is strange, its not like real life, but God loves these people. God loves them just as much as everyone else. He made them strange, he made them seemingly 'unattractive' on the outside, but i bet you that some of these people have a beautiful inside. They may in fact be more beautiful on the inside than you and me, and that is what really matters. God tells us to love one another, making fun of people, and putting others down saying they look like dogs is not showing love, its showing hate. It breaks my heart. I bet those people wake up like everyone else and say to themselves 'I want to look cute today, so im going to wear my cutest outfit'. Im not gorgeous and thats what i say. God loves you, all of you. Be kind to those who hate you, be kind to those who love you. Dont be selfish and stuck on yourself, its not attractive, and whatever outer physical attractive you had disappears. Putting others down is very unattractive. Love your neighbor as your self. Thats my rant for the day. Good thing no one reads this.. it may stir up trouble :) HA

Moo

So, well... its been a very long time. I just realized that its been so long that i didnt know you could add pictures without hello anymore.
I cant wait to go home! you have NO idea, in less than one month i will be SNOWBOARDING again. ahh... i get to use my new board and everything. This winter i will be working at killington again, but not as a lifty.. im gonna work in the baseshop doing sales, and other random things there. I dont think i will be working at darkside either. Darkside was the best job ever. It was really layed back and i got a free sweatshirt (which is now my favorite). I love winters, i think it may be my favorite time of year because of the snow.

Oh, good times at home. This Christmas will be a strange one. It will be the best and the worst all at once. Family is one of the greatests gifts God has given me. Well, i think im gonna go eat, but with any luck i will try to post more often. These classes have gotten me so busy i cant see straight. Hopefully i will apply to 4 Graduate schools by the end of the week. I jsut want to get the applications in and leave the rest to God. I love you guys! Sorry to keep you waiting so long, although i doubt you read this anyway.. leave a comment if you do, im kinda curious.

And the semester continues

So... I've decided to open a MySpace account... that way, there is a nice comment board, so i dont have to post as much, but i can keep a running comment board going... it will also be nice next year after im gone to keep in contact with people... so i encourage everyone to comment there....

My Space

Other than that.. things have been well, school has been slightly hectic, and well.. thats how things go. I guess im not used to it, since i slacked off last semester, but im sure i will manage and live through it. I cant believe im graduating in may AH!!

Im beginning to apply for graduate schools now, and that is EXTREMLY scary.. So, if you think of me in that area.. please pray...

oh yeah, and in an additional note, my dad is leaving for the Phillipeans tomorrow, so if you could pray that he has a safe trip and that he accomplishes all that is in God's plan, that would also be appreciated!

How is everyone else?

Well.. time to read anatomy once again.. whooooo

Love

So.. i made it back to TX, and took my GRE's... They went well.. i was happy.. yay...

School starts tomorrow.. im not really ready, but im ready to get things overwith.. so.. here we go...

I love you.. now change, why do i never feel good enough?

I dont feel like posting much.. just thought i would let ya guys know i was alive :)

inspired

So i got inspired to post... actually i have some questions that i would like answered. First of all is What the heck is wrong with me?

I say this because i really think i have some issues. First of all being, why do i always not look forward to going to texas at the end of the summer? Is this a bad thing? God wants us to be content in any situation, because he has us there for a reason. I know what my reason for being in texas was, but now at the end of the summer i once again am detesting the thought of returning to texas.

I think i am a New England Gal. I dont think much can change that. I hope God's plan is for me to return to the great east coast. Now, i dont beleve that i want to live in Vermont my whole life, but the firthest i really want to go southern-wise is Pennsylvania. I guess i just love my family and everything about the north. New England Buddy got anything to comment?

Is this wrong for me to think this way? I wish i could just love texas, but ive tried, i have and it doesnt seem to come to me. I like LU, but once i leave there i am really not wanting to go back. I dont mean for this to offend anyone, but i seriously doubt that some of you want to move to the north east. Does this mean thats God's plan is for me to live up north, since i feel so strongly, or is he just forcing me to live in the south cause hes teaching me to be content, even when he knows my heart is in the north? HELP.. someone comment please!!

hope this made sense... hope everyone is doin well...

Hiatus

Hiatus is a long break... "after a hiatus, andrea posted again"

so yes, thats correct, i am once again posting. i know.. its amazing. so... here has been my life, came back home, and was highly motivated to get stuff done. I painted the swingset, got my horses hooves clipped, washed and clipped my dog, got a lot of cleaning done, put my room back in order, sorted out throught old clothes im getting rid of, i am currently house sitting, working at the vet clinic a couple times a day, taking a GRE class, and helping my dad renovate our deck and my bathroom. well... see i have been busy.. whoo.. go me, well.. thats about all for now, you can see why i really havent posted.. kinda been busy, and havent even thought of posting..

hope everyone else is doin well

Ingenuous

Ingenuous means to have a child-like simplicity or innocence.

My cat (abby) has been missing for a week, so please pray that she comes home soon. We miss her! I think im gonna walk around the neighborhood to see if anyone has seen her. We've asked our neighbors but thats about it so far.

Well, ive finally made it home. Its nice to relax, sleep in and generally be a bum again. im back to working my usual 5 hour work days 3 days a week, its quite entertaining. However, i should start painting my house soon. That should be fun!

Well, i gotta run up to Burlington VT to make up the test that i missed in my GRE prep class. whooo... ill post lata

21

Today I am 21, thats right, THE WRECKONING has come, and today is finally my birthday!!

YAY for birthdays....

Latent

Latent is a potential that is not readily apparant... I may look dumb, but really... i have potential ;-D

ok, ok... well, not much is goin on here... still... only have two exams and a final remaining this week. Friday is my final then im done with one class.. and i got enough stuff to do before then. I need to figure out my financial aid situation, drop the Human Growth and Development class, since im taking that presently...

In a week i will be flying back to vermont. I hate doing this. I love home, and i love my friends, WHY CANT THEY ALL BE IN THE SAME PLACE?!?! Flic and i were talking about this a few days ago. People that live near here hate it, but really, you get a good deal, your near your parents and your friends for most of the year. You can go home and do laundry, see your parents, eat a good meal. Flic and i go home 2 times a year for only a few weeks. It sucks!

You may be wondering why i so adamantly inform everyone that TOMORROW IS MY 21st BIRTHDAY!! well, my freshman year, everyone forgot when my birthday was, so i decided that to prevent only my parents remembering when i was born, i would not give anyone (my friends) an excuse for forgetting my birthday.....

so in light of the fact that TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY....

Your Birthdate: June 15

With a birthday on the 15th of any month, you are apt to have really strong attachments to home, family and domestic scene. The 1 and 5 equaling 6, provide the sort of energy that makes you an excellent parent or teacher. You are very responsible and capable. This is an attractive and an attracting influence. You like harmony in your environment and strive to maintain it. You tend to learn by observation rather than study and research. You may like to cook, but you probably don't follow recipes. This number shows artistic leanings and would certainly support an talents that may be otherwise in your makeup. You're a very generous and giving person, but perhaps a bit stubborn in ways.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Laud

Laud means to give praise, glorify

2 days until my BIRTHDAY... YAY :-D
everyone should call me on wednesday, cause its my birthday :-D

So, school is goin alright... kinda lookin forward to it being over with though...

so, other than than, not too much excitement... so, that leaves pointless quizzes!!!

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 88% Stoner 56% Punk/Rebel 50% Ghetto gangsta 31% Loner 25% Drama nerd 25% Geek 19% Goth 6% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

Longview

So don't get me wrong, i love spending time with Radio, Will and Danny, but other than that i get NO GIRL INTERACTION!!! Im dyin here ladies. Please, Please, if you are in the area, lets do something (Laura, Emily) and if your not in the area.. call me or something.. AHH

4 Shopping days remaining..... GO MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Laconic

Laconic means to use few words.

So, school is going well, it always seems to blur into a long week of class and tests, with nothing in particular sticking out to me, as does most of my summer. I havent really dont anything significant in the past week to really write about.

maybe ill lay out in the sun today. its warm outside.. oouuu...

what to fix for dinner? humm?? Hamburger helper? thats always a favorite. Radio and Will fixed dinner last night, and it was really good! Rice with Hamburger meat, cheddar cheese and tomatoes. Sounds like a strange combination, but its REALLY good... trust me!

my birthday is in.... 5 DAYS.. prepare youself!!

and, due to the lack of something to post about, ill include a survey.. everyones doin it...

(x) means i have done it, ( ) means i haven't.

(x ) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love
(x ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher (nope, never happened to me)
( ) seen someone die
(x) been to canada (i live too close not too)
(x) been to mexico [missions trip]
(x) been on a plane way too often every year
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
( ) eaten sushi
(x) been snowboarding (since i live on a ski mountain.. yes)
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers (im accident prone)
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel (again, the whole VT/snow thing)
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up (thats what little girls do)
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves (i love fall!!)
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at school (Once in my physics high school class after i had been out all night at a concert)
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sunset
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake (yay for biology majors)
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled (i HATE being tickled
(X) been robbed (stupid people that stole my cell phone last semester... grrrrr)
(x) been misunderstood
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in car accident
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast (i think most kids do)
(x) had deja vu
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime (speeding is a crime... istn it?)
(x) pole danced (HAHAHA)
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke ("do you really want to hurt me??")
(x) paid for a meal with only coins (haha, yup, they arent usually too happy with that)
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to santa claus (i never believed in santa claus)
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach (does burning a loft on a beach at a lake count?)
(x) crashed a party (haha.. good times in high school with kaci and ashley)
(x) had a wish come true
(x)worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge (stupid ear infection)
(x) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
(x) got your tongue stuck on a flag pole (i was a stupid kid)
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) stayed up all night (college is great like that - IVAP :-/ )
(x) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree (aww i miss apple picking)
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(x) believed in ghosts (i was scared of everything as a kid)
( ) had more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused (haha.. im extrememly easily amused)
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried (BAD OPTION!!! HAHAHA funniest thing ive EVER done :-D)
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
( ) eaten a bug
( ) jumped out of an airplane
( ) given an anonymous gift
( ) received an anonymous gift
(x) Been to more than two continents (North America, Europe, Africa, Asia - all in one trip)
( ) sent a love letter
( ) been on TV
( ) been on a safari
(x) picked flowers
(x) had a death threat (some kid tried to strangle me in 3rd grade)
( ) been to a drive in movie
( ) snuck in a movie
(x) danced in a club (back in the day.. good times)
(x) read a book over 1,000 pages long
(x) gotten lost in a foreign country
( ) had to use hand signals to communicate in a foreign country
(x) wet yourself
(x) ridden an elephant
(x) had a dream come true

wow.. that was fun....

Rain

Rain means when water falls from the sky (so im in the computer labs, and i dont have my GRE word list with me, so i had to make up a definitiion :))

So, i havent updated in awhile, so i figured i would. Im getting better, besides the nastyness still in my lungs and nose, i am feelin a lot better. yay :)

Class is kickin my butt... not really, but im tired of gettin up and driving over there all the time. At least i have all afternoon to take a nap, lay out in the sun, or do anything i want to.

There are a lot of business majors in the labs right now, and they are strange. All laughing at some imitation of some professor. I dont get it, i guess thats because im not a business major

I like my posts they are all completely random

Today i was typing up my notes from class, and i saw a bird outside pickin a worm out of the ground. I thought birds got worms in the morning. Guess not, cause this was at like 2:30

So making dinners has been going well. I have been making most dinners with variations of chicken. Chicken is pretty versitile. The good thing about all of this, is that i havent burnt anything yet... yet... yay, go my cooking skills...

Baja got back from their trip, and they got 57th out of 130 something, so thats decent. my roommate is back from Italy, so i got to see her and her pictures. Ive ran into laura a few times down at Baja!! Its nice seeing my friends again. I have missed them :)

Well, i guess thats all for now... More to come later...

Lassitude

Lassitude is a state of diminished energy.

I feel like i completely illustrate that vocab word of the day. In the last post i said that i thought i was getting sick. Oh boy was i right. I ended up with a nasty high fever, and a sore throat which led to an infection in my lungs, so now i am left with a nasty cough which continues to keep me up all night. I was so scared these past few days, i seriously thought i was going to die. i figured i would just stop being able to breathe and die. God apparantly wants to keep me around longer, so i didnt stop breathing, but i still am having trouble doing so, especially at night, so if you guys could please pray that i get better soon so i can breathe again, that would be nice :)

Class at Kilgore is going well. My professor is funny and tells lots of corny jokes which is a good thing at 8am. I have two tests on monday, so ill know better how the class is going to go after that point. Im not too worried though.

I have to buy my own scantrons for my class. Wierd. LU always provides them for us. That was a new experience, actually BUYING scantrons.

Kilgore has a really nice student center and school store... oouu

Also, i am in desperate need of a car for the beginning of next week. Can i borrow anyones car from 8am to 11:30am some morning/s please???

i need a nap... ill post later...

Guile

Guile means trickery or deceit...

Today was a great day. It started off boring... well not really boring... let me explain. So i got up early to see Baja off and wish them good luck n all. The car was lookin mighty fine, and the senior team had their car all ready to go finally, so all was well with Baja. I went back to my room and talked to Flic for awhile, looked up random stuff online, and did about all i could until there was nothing else to do online. Then i decided.. humm.. sleep sounds good. So i took another wonderful nap. Got up and decided that i was bored again, so i decided to drive around since i gained posession of Danny's car for the night.

I decided to do laundry at KZX, then i drove to getto one to get tea... umm... that was really good with honey. After that Will and i made dinner which consisted of pancakes with REAL maple syrup and scrambled eggs. After dinner Danny drove me to kilgore where i found where my class is this week. So that was my day in a nutshell.. fun stuff

I think im gettin sick too. The weather changes from Vermont to Texas are never really good for my system. In fact my body HATES the insane weather changes.

Today was good though, i had some good conversations with some great people. AND

the best thing is.. the guy that my dad goes on mission trips with to the Phillipeans is gonna be on campus on the 16th of June! I have wanted to meet him for so long, but hes always in Vermont when im in school, and im always at home when he is in Texas. So i beat the system, i take summer school!! YES!! So i am really excited i get to meet him. He is an amazing guy!

Well, that was my day.. all of it... time for bed now.. G'night