So, here i am... Thursday night, reading John Donne's poems, sonnets and meditations for Brit Lit I. He was an interesting writer, but i really like to read it. It makes me think. He was an interesting guy, somehow related to Sir Thomas More, kinda cool. Ok enough of my nerdyness...
I am actually getting caught up and ahead of work due. This is nice. I am able to right now balance everything. And since i am able to balance everything, i think this is a perfect time to spend more of it with the Lord. He has really allowed me to work through things this semester. It has been wonderful. This semester hasnt gone by without its problems and up all night papers, but He has allowed me to meet new people, make new friends, and get out and have some fun! I know im seriously homesick, but my mom said something a few weeks ago that really hit me today in class. She had told me that it wasnt good to be so upset that i was in Texas. God had me here for a reason and i needed to appreciate that, and do what His will is for me here. Today i realized that. God has me here in Texas for whatever reason it is, and so i need to be content. I can miss home, but i shouldnt hate being here, because its where God has me. And Gods will is soo much greater than mine. He has such a larger picture than i do. I can be so selfish sometimes. being in texas has changed my life around so much i can barely even believe it now. If i had stayed home, i would have never changed, and would most likely be dead now. I look at what my old life was, and while on the surface it looks fun and exciting, I can see underneith to the pain and hurt it was. God has me here, He has me safe. He literally saved me from myself. I need to be grateful for what He has done for me. I need to not hate it here, but love it for what it is, and what i have. I deserve to have nothing, but i have met the best friends in the world here, who honesly have my back and will support me all the time. God is amazing, In all my life, i never thought i would be here, so far away. But it is Gods will, so as long as He has me here, i will be content, and not be angry.
Holy Sonnet 14
Batter my hear, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend;
That i may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
-John Donne